For quite some time, I have been fighting against my desire to retreat into my familiar “turtle shell” of old… to hide, to find silence, to feel protected and safe, and for rest. I have been pushing through every doubt and overcoming, refusing to go silent once again. Today I have no more energy to fight my urge to retreat, and just as a turtle would, I slowly pull my head, arms, and legs into the shell that God designed just for me.
Mark 6:31 NIV – Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”
SO TIRED… of explaining myself and the reason for my faith explosion, of being attacked by hurting people, of being patient and waiting for God’s promises to be seen, but mostly, I am tired of seeing the world through my unhealed lenses that still too often cloud my vision and understanding of love. I want to see my life through the eyes of Jesus, rather than see Jesus through the lens of my life. I pray to give up my desire to control all things even more than I already have… things which are not within my control anyway.
GOD’S WILL BE DONE, ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN.
Jesus calls to me from within my “turtle shell.” I thought this lifelong secret place had been known only to me, but HE KNOWS IT WELL. Wrapped in the solace and familiarity of my turtle shell once again, I notice that this time something is different. I AM NOT ALONE. Jesus has retreated to this quiet place with me, he speaks to me in the silence, he IS my safety and protection, and he gives me rest.
I don’t know how long I will stay here this time, but I know that when my head, my arms and my feet are stretched out to the world again, it won’t be until I have received the rest and healing that only this time with Jesus can provide.
Psalms 18:1-2 NIV – I love you, Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
(Originally posted on Facebook 10/15/2024)