I wish I would have learned this earlier in life!
Unmet expectations are often the biggest source of discontentment, but the solution isn’t to match reality to your expectations, it goes deeper than that.
You likely already know this part, but flexibility is the key to feeling content, while rigidity of expectations will just lock you up tight and lead to frustration. BUT… we can focus on flexibility, bending like Gumby, and still be left feeling like our needs don’t matter and that we’re being taken for granted. NO… a lack of healthy boundaries and giving ourselves away to others ISN’T the way to a more content and peaceful life.
In order to grow ourselves into people who are content in all things and have flexible expectations of the way our days should play out, our focus should be on understanding our core needs. In that way, we can get our core needs met in a number of different ways.
Think about your situation, especially one that you’re dwelling in frustration over what others did or didn’t do, or how they responded to or ignored you. What did you need at the core? What were you seeking and didn’t find? Flip your focus to a deeper view as you consider what you truly need… not from just that person, but from any person who has the ability to meet your needs. Write that down.
Go one step deeper and consider other ways your core need(s) could be met. Write them down, and don’t rush this process. Brainstorm, dream, and have fun as you think creatively.
STOP HERE IF YOU LIKE. Go deeper and keep reading if you’re really ready to grow in your faith!
With one more flip of perspective, I want to ask you to challenge yourself to consider all the things you already have at your disposal, not the things you feel that are lacking. What I am thinking about here is framing our thoughts with Asset-based problem solving instead of Needs-based solutions. Consider what is abundant in your life rather than the things you wish you had.
God has provided you with an abundance of some things that others long for, perhaps good health, youth, marriage, children, a connected family, good friends, or a home of your own. Thank him for his abundant blessings and then hand them back to God as an offering. Remember that God can do great and mighty things with the small amount we have to give back to him, and he loves us so much that he won’t take them out of our tightly-clutched fists. Our treasures can multiply in God’s power only if we surrender it to his will and submit any expectations we have of how it will be used for God’s kingdom.
What have you been blessed with that can benefit others for the glory and growth of the Kingdom of God? Trust Jesus with it and let go, with flexible expectations of what is to come… contentment and peace are sure to follow!
Matthew 14:19-20 NLT – Then he told the people to sit down on the grass. Jesus took the five loaves and two fish, looked up toward heaven, and blessed them. Then, breaking the loaves into pieces, he gave the bread to the disciples, who distributed it to the people. They all ate as much as they wanted, and afterward, the disciples picked up twelve baskets of leftovers.
(Originally posted on May 30, 2026, on Facebook)