Some people view life as something that happens TO them, and maybe this is you. I’ll refer to this person as TO from this point onward. When presented with a situation, TO thinks about how it made them feel, what they think should have happened that would have been more fair or “better”, and what others did that made their life harder than it would have needed to be. TO is often frustrated by the behaviors of others around them and believes that they know better how their life should be, if only_____ (fill in the blank).
Life for TO is not a peaceful one, because it doesn’t follow the script, often doesn’t seem fair, and no matter how hard they try, something always happens that is outside of TO’s control.
Others view life as something that happens FOR them, and hopefully some of you have made this perspective shift. I’ll refer to this person as FOR from this point onward. When presented with a situation, FOR thinks about what they can learn from it, listens for God’s voice to guide them through it with wisdom and discernment, and remains steadfast with a feeling of unwavering hope and trust that things will turn out well in the end. FOR is able to look at others with compassion and grace, and realizes that while forgiveness is offered freely, trust must be earned.
Life for FOR is peaceful and even joyful, because the understanding is that God is in control, their life is filled with adventures and struggles that are all part of the journey of growing in faith and trust, and they even offer themselves grace because they know that Jesus does too.
Other than perspective, what is the key difference between TO and FOR? I believe that the key difference is knowing that they are loved.
Think about it… if TO and FOR were to face the same hardships throughout their lives, why is it that TO spends the majority of their days bitter, frustrated, judgmental, depressed, or anxious while FOR spends the majority of their days peaceful, content, steady, generous, and being kind to others? My theory is that FOR knows that they are LOVED FULLY & UNCONDITIONALLY, while TO doubts that they are loved at all, or at least feels that love can be lost at any moment. TO is stuck in insecure attachment to their Heavenly Father while FOR is securely attached.
God IS love, and he cannot be anything other than what he is. He created every single human very carefully and with purpose, and he LOVES them. HE LOVES YOU. If you think about someone who you love very much, you might also be able to see how your love for them is not dependent on whether they love you back or not. If you’re a parent, you can see how deeply you love your children, and even if they choose to estrange themselves from you, your love remains the same for them. I can relate to this because I have a son who I love deeply even though he has chosen to estrange himself and his wife from me. When we love someone who refuses to love us back, it creates a deep sadness that intertwines with that love, and I feel blessed to have insight to God’s heart for those who he deeply loves even while they refuse to receive it.
God loves you the same whether you receive his love with joy and gratitude, reaping the blessings of being his son or daughter and knowing that your life is happening FOR you, or if you choose to estrange yourself from him, suffering the consequences of a life being lived apart from your Father, who is lavishing love and blessings for you that you refuse to receive. If it seems that life is happening TO you, turn back to God and ask him to show you his deep love for you. Change your perspective, retrain your mind, let go of control, and grow your faith through the Word.
Life is too short to let it happen TO you. Step back, humble yourself, and live the full life that God has created FOR you.
(Posted by Stephanie K Ford on Facebook, 4/28/2026)