So often, I have allowed myself to get caught up in the need to DO something to impact the world. People who love me have reminded me that I am a human BEing, not a human DOing, and yet I have always struggled to embrace that. People who love me have reminded me that God would love me fully even if I was bedridden, blind, deaf, and mute, and could do nothing for his Kingdom, and yet I have always struggled to comprehend that as well.
Then I think of how immensely I love my children, regardless of how they treat me, what they believe that goes against what I taught them, and regardless of the choices they make. No matter what they DO, I love them for who they ARE to me. God feels that way about us.
A few days ago, right after being delivered from the spirit of anxiety, the power of God completely consumed me as I surrendered to God to the point that I could do nothing except weep on the floor for about an hour. People who love me laid hands on me, delivered me from hopelessness that I could feel pressing me down and clinging to my back, and they prayed the love of Jesus over me. I struggled and fought that day, wrestling with my fleshly desire to stand up and do something rather than lay there completely powerless. I felt myself literally dying to the flesh as it felt like my blood had all drained from my body along with all of my energy. In my stubbornness and drive to be autonomous, I had to be taught the hard way an important lesson of how our strength ONLY comes from the Lord. My muscles still ache from the physical, emotional and spiritual battle of that day even now.
In my fight to be strong, I experienced the reality of how weak I truly am. I am still grieving my children and the impact that my marriage and divorce to their father had on their belief systems and life choices, and I was bearing the weight and sorrow of the reality that it is their choice whether they receive or reject my love and the love of God. In my grief and frustration, I struggled to surrender and trust that God has a plan that far surpasses my understanding. In my fight to continually heal, forgive, learn, grow, transform, and to live more fully, I neglected the importance of simply abiding in Jesus, with trust, peace, and love.
Abiding in him with all that we are and all that we desire to be is a tough lesson to learn for someone like myself who has been a lifelong overachiever, but I have been seeking the great I AM with all that I am for the last three years. I want to be healed, transformed to mirror Jesus, and to hand over to God every part of my old sinful self. I want to be vulnerable, uncomfortable, and raw. I want to face every fear with complete trust in the Lord of Lords, and I want to boldly speak, write, and live out the testimony of Jesus until my very last breath.
Yet I often feel that I still have so much to learn about letting the Spirit lead me, hearing the voice of God, and even knowing what his purpose for me is while I am still alive on earth. If I let my mind take the lead, anxiety and insecurity are ready to creep back in and then I fall into a pattern of striving to do “all the things” as I did for the first 48 years of my life. Slowly I am learning that there is a different kind of striving that we were created for, and a God-designed reason for the passion inside of us. When we strive together with Holy Spirit for God’s Kingdom, we can live a life of peace, joy and surrender. Striving in the Spirit means ABIDING in his love, and that is a lesson that was vital for me to learn the hard way.
What inner passion do you have? What is Holy Spirit leading you to create or bring together that was meant to benefit the Kingdom of God and improve the world around you? Spend time abiding in the love of Jesus as you let him help you rewrite your goals to align with God’s purpose for you and his Kingdom of faithful followers.
I found encouragement in Revelation 22:10-14, and I hope that you do too. Notice in the Scriptures written below that it says Jesus will bless those who wash their robes by believing and trusting in him and following God’s commandments. His children will be blessed with the RIGHT TO THE TREE OF LIFE, which was the very thing that Adam and Eve were banished from Garden of Eden because they could not be trusted around it. Access to the tree of life will be our right again, and we will be able to live for eternity with God.
Before that time comes, may we all simply show our Heavenly Father that we trust him and that he can trust us with our thoughts, our words, and our deeds. May we freely receive his love for us so that we can better love others. May we have joy, peace, and live freely in Christ as we abide in him until his triumphant return and the righteous ones are revealed to all of Creation.
And he said to me, “Do not seal up the words of the prophecy of this book, for the time [of their fulfillment] is near. Let the one who does wrong, still do wrong; and the one who is filthy (vile, impure), still be filthy; and the one who is righteous (just, upright), still be righteous; and the one who is holy, still be holy.” “Behold, I (Jesus) am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to give to each one according to the merit of his deeds (earthly works, faithfulness). I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End [the Eternal One].” Blessed (happy, prosperous, to be admired) are those who wash their robes [in the blood of Christ by believing and trusting in Him—the righteous who do His commandments], so that they may have the right to the tree of life, and may enter by the gates into the city. – Revelation 22:10-14 AMP
#AbideInChrist #HolySpiritLed #strivetobe #childofGod
(Originally published on Facebook by Stephanie K Ford on January 10, 2026)