A Message for Everyone, but Intended to Especially Offer Encouragement for Military, Government, School and Church Leaders
Recently, my faith journey and desire to know Jesus Christ personally has been ignited in some very powerful ways. Each day brings new questions, new discoveries and new conversations that give me new understanding. Everything feels completely NEW to me… I am a new person, my life is a new adventure, I am in a new relationship, my family is being made new, I have a new direction for my life, I have new joy for living, I have a new presence of peace even when circumstances are difficult, and I have a completely new focus of desiring to walk with Jesus every second of every day.
Sometimes I wonder if people see me and think that I look different, because I know that I AM different. I have learned to not let what others think of me impact my journey, whether to speed me up or slow me down, as I am learning that God’s timing and plans for me are perfect. “Just draw closer and trust me,” I hear in my Spirit. I care deeply about what others think, and welcome conversations of all kinds because I love people and find them so interesting, I just don’t care what people think of ME anymore. I’ve also gotten better at setting boundaries and learning to walk away when a conversation ceases to be beneficial for both people involved, so please don’t hesitate to talk to me about whatever is on your heart.
In my journey of healing from emotional and spiritual abuse, I have really enjoyed learning about how our brain and body work together to both protect us in instances of trauma, how our mindset impacts our ability to heal, and how our faith impacts hope, our ability to forgive and accept love that leads to healing. I suppose that I have been deconstructing why I am the way that I am and why I feel the way that I feel diligently for almost three years now.
Since I was a child, I have always taken so much joy in the birth of Baby Jesus, arranging and rearranging the nativity set, singing Christmas songs, giving gifts, decorating with beautiful decorations, spending time with family, watching Christmas movies, writing and reading Christmas letters, and hanging the stockings. So on Christmas Eve of 2020, my heart felt like I couldn’t take the emptiness that I had been consumed with by that day.
My husband and I had moved back to our home state of Minnesota with our four children in fall of 2018. I was excited to finally live near family after his 21 1/2 year Air Force career path with so many holidays spent far away, and I deeply wanted our children to be able to feel rooted in a place before they started their own families. From the outside, our lives looked perfect. We renovated and remodeled our 1930’s Craftsman home next to a lake, started establishing ourselves in new careers, reconnected to our childhood connections and reestablished relationships with our families. Inside our home, though, life was very, very far from perfect.
In the Air Force, they often taught us about being resilient, and in some ways, we were. In the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, RESILIENT is defined as 1.(of a person or animal) able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions. It lists similar words as being: strong, tough, hardy, quick to recover, quick to bounce back, buoyant, difficult to keep down, irrepressible, adaptable, and flexible, and some opposite words as being: vulnerable and sensitive, and it is defined as 2. (of a substance or object) able to recoil or spring back into shape after bending, stretching, or being compressed.
Here lies one glaring disconnect with resiliency training (Military Leaders, please take note of this)… God made me and many others naturally to wear our vulnerability and sensitivity on our sleeves. So while I was and still am strong, tough, hardy, quick to recover, bounce back, etc., I am also vulnerable and sensitive, with a heart overflowing with the love of Jesus. I also really don’t like being bent, stretched, or being compressed, and I’m pretty sure that most of us don’t.
What resiliency training leads to, then, is an entire culture of people that are taught to build up a protective shell around their heart, dismiss their natural inclinations to set healthy boundaries, shove any vulnerable feelings deep down inside so that no one will see them, and to push through hard things, relying on their own strength.
Until we can connect to the love in our hearts that was placed there like a treasure by our Creator and figure out how to have successful careers and fulfilling lives that give space for vulnerability and sensitivity, then our military, our government, schools, and our churches will be limited by the power of man. Now that I am starting to wrap my head around the immensity and glorious power of God, I can’t imagine why we are choosing to limit ourselves to the power of “ME.”
Along with deconstructing my healing and the concept of resiliency, I have some strong words concerning the deconstruction of religion and churches. I’d like to challenge any biases that you may have with a little background about how I got here. I continue to get asked what I am regarding church affiliation, and the other day, Holy Spirit guided me through my answer to this question.
What Am I?
I was baptized Catholic as a baby, gave my life to Christ in a Congregational Church, confirmed Lutheran as a teenager, and married for the first time in a Reformed Church. I have attended a Wesleyan Church regularly, been a member of Methodist Churches, and have had my babies blessed by Protestant Chaplains. I chose to have a Believer’s Baptism as a member of the Baptist Church, and now I am a member of a non-denominational church. I have worshiped with people who speak in tongues and in other languages and praised God with Christians in many different environments and countries as well as among various skin colors and cultures.
Now I choose to worship and witness to others in all of these places among all of God’s children.
Who am I? I am a woman after God’s own heart. Rather than claim any denomination, I claim Christ alone. I AM A CHRISTIAN.
TO LEADERS (MILITARY, GOVERNMENT, SCHOOLS, and CHURCHES): I want to challenge every leader to deconstruct what you believe and why you believe it in order for you to truly lead the way that you were called to lead. Leadership is a big responsibility, and many people are impacted by your actions and decisions. If leaders flipped the script on everything as it is now to how it was designed to be from the beginning of Creation, our world would be completely different. By letting Jesus lead through you and your position of authority, the military, government, schools and churches would be COMPLETELY NEW!
Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and you will be commended. For the one in authority is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are God’s servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience. Romans 13: 1-5 NIV
I am not questioning anyone’s leadership or authority, even if we likely don’t agree on many things. What I am asking you to question in yourself is why do you believe what you do? Why do you try to lead others in the way that you do? What biases or inconsistencies might you need to challenge to be a better leader?
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the verb DECONSTRUCT in four ways:
1. To examine (something, such as a work of literature) using the methods of deconstruction
2. To take apart or examine (something) in order to reveal the basis or composition often with the intention of exposing biases, flaws, or inconsistencies
3. To adapt or separate the elements of for use in an ironic or radically new way
So much insight can be gained when we take the time to deconstruct something. If we all would invest in ourselves by destroying all that we thought we knew to be true and be deliberate about understanding what we believe and why, our world would be flipped upside down.
Be the first to step out of the line and truly see the people around you, not as enemies or competitors, but as people with a story… people that need love, just like you do… people that want to be heard, just like you do… people that have been hurt, just like you have… people that have accomplished great things that have already or soon will be forgotten, just like you… and people that have experienced the miracle of God’s second chance to life, just like I have, and maybe you have too.
We can do better, leaders, do you agree? We CAN do better, and it starts with YOU!