Someone who is rebellious is, according to the Oxford dictionary, “showing a desire to resist authority, control, or convention.” I have often felt that I was born with a rebellious streak, which I’m pretty sure was handed down to me through the genes from my father. I’ve never known any other way to feel on the inside other than the constant desire to question, to doubt, and to evaluate a situation before making a decision to follow along with the crowd or not. Conversely, on the outside I have probably come across more as a rule follower because of my strong sense of doing what is morally right and a tendency to sit quietly behind the scenes.
Rules and laws are written for a reason, would you agree? They are determined by a group of people with the intention to keep people safe, maintain a civilized order, and to define clear boundaries. God created rules, churches created laws, governments define laws, and schools, businesses, cultural groups and even individual families define rules. Typically, breaking a rule or a law results in punishment of some kind as well, ranging in severity depending on the weight of the offense.
I have had some unique exposures to a number of different environments, as many others have, but because I now view all of creation and my purpose in life with curiosity, I am some pretty amazing new things. In a military environment, there are rules of etiquette for engaging in communication with one another, protocol for events, and defined laws around behaviors that have heavier disciplinary procedures than society at large. In a prophetic school, there are rules of etiquette as well, because for people learning how to connect to the spiritual realm, the glory of God shows up in some very intense ways. In a Catholic church, there are rules around taking communion, protocols for kneeling and standing, and expectations of etiquette of revered silence in the sanctuary. In my non-denominational church, the laws and rules are more relaxed and unstated, but God wants us to give him the respect that he deserves as we focus on what the pastor has to say and praise him during the worship songs rather than to visit or be on our phones disrespectfully.
For my whole life, I have kind of ruffled up at laws, rules, and traditions. I am a questioner by nature, and I want to know why I have to do something rather than simply being told to do it. I care less and less about doing what people expect me to do and I don’t like it when people make assumptions about me, so being unpredictable and doing the unexpected is something that I especially take joy in. I enjoy being called a rebel, and I have also learned that I can be a rebel for Jesus in healthy ways that don’t get me sent to jail or the principal’s office.
As I continually find myself being called to traditional events and church functions even now that I no longer attend military functions as a military officer spouse, I have recently been fighting an internal battle for my strong desire to break free from rules, cut the chains of works-based traditions, and to shout at the top of my lungs in a silent church either, “God is not dead!” or “Wake up, complacent Christians, the end is near!” Because I also respect my Heavenly Father and fear his all-consuming power, I fight that urge to disrupt a church service, mass, or a Bible Study group, and I ask him to draw me higher into the spiritual realm and my calling on Earth instead.
In some deep conversations with Jesus, this is what he has revealed to me…
God doesn’t want us to follow his commandments out of obligation. He wants us to follow them with the understanding that they are for our benefit. We are to be grateful that he loves us enough to set rules for us. Just like a parent who makes a rule that a toddler isn’t supposed to go outside without telling an adult, a child isn’t supposed to go to a friend’s house without making arrangements first, a teenager isn’t supposed to be out later than a certain time, or a spouse isn’t supposed to disappear without communication overnight, rules and laws are set for the benefit of everyone involved. If the rule is only followed to avoid punishment, however, then we are not doing what God wants of us, and we are missing out on the blessings that the laws or rules were meant to have in the first place.
To give an extreme example, if the only reason that you didn’t kill someone else is because you didn’t want to go to jail, what is the condition of your heart? Wouldn’t you be likely to think about killing people every time you got angry with them? And if you relied entirely on your willpower to avoid killing someone, wouldn’t there be a pretty good chance that you would fail at some point?
Trying to avoid committing a sin, breaking a commandment, a law or a rule based on your willpower is a bad idea that is sure to fail. Common knowledge to most is that many people are addicted to porn today because of the prevalence of pornographic content on the internet, and many wonder why they continue to struggle with it even when they know that it’s not what they want to turn to. Because we are all humans, we are helpless to sins of the flesh without repeatedly turning to Jesus to transform our hearts. The answer to breaking free from an addiction for good is Jesus. The answer to any change of heart is Jesus.
We discussed the following story from the book of Luke this past Sunday, and Holy Spirit revealed something to me that relates to having a heart change here as well.
Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!” When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed. One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan. Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.” Luke 17:11-19 NIV
Why did Jesus respond to the one leper who came back praising God in a loud voice with the questions, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine?” He had told the ten lepers to go and show themselves to the priest, and that’s exactly what they did. So why was he pleased with the one who returned? He told him to rise and go, and that his faith had made him well. He may have even seemed annoyed that the other nine didn’t respond as the one did, which makes many wonder why that was the case when they did exactly what they were told.
I believe that Jesus saw in the leper who came back to worship him, the High Priest, a heart change. By turning back from his original instruction to show himself to the priests, which nine out of the ten had continued to follow even after they all had realized that they had been healed, he revealed his heart. In the healed leper’s heart, his worship showed that his faith and gratitude for Jesus’s healing were more important to him than following a rule out of obligation.
God is okay with you being a rebel, after all, he made you the way you are and he knows more about you than you realize yourself. What he REALLY wants, though, is your HEART ~ a heart changed and overflowing with gratitude, love, and joy.