“Don’t let your heart get hardened. Hold my people in your heart,” the Spirit whispered to me. “I made you soft, not weak. Love deeply, I will protect you.”
“HOW, Lord? It aches to love people that don’t love me back. I have been hurt so many times,” I pleaded with him. Is it possible to love like Jesus did without getting hurt? The pain in my heart that I often feel for people is a mix of compassion, love and sorrow, and it physically hurts me, sometimes even making it hard to breathe. I believe that Jesus felt that way too when he walked among us humans, because the state of humanity as a whole can be a saddening thing to experience.
As I thought about the impact of cutting something, Holy Spirit showed me that the softer the substance, the less that the damage will show. Imagine slicing a watermelon in half, for instance, compared to slicing pudding in half. He told me, “God will protect you,” and then he revealed to me that water shows no permanent damage to harm. If you were to slice a knife through water, very quickly it would appear the same as before, as if nothing had happened.
God is Living Water, and through our knowledge and understanding of the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit and the gift of Salvation, our entire being becomes one with God. If we are indeed one with him and therefore our entire body is filled with Living Water, then our hearts are able to remain soft and show no permanent damage to harm. As transformation happens, we are made new in Christ, and his promises reveal that he is able to pour love through us and into others. Any harm that comes to us from harsh words, broken trust, lies, and judgement will still hurt, but Jesus heals and makes us new again.
I used to protect myself by “turtling up” when I was undergoing verbal attacks from someone I loved, or even when I recognized the signs of the barrage of words that were to come. I imagined myself tucking my head into my “shell” in order to withstand the abuse from those harmful words that would come at me like spears. I would close my eyes, tuck my knees to my chest, and let the tears flow, but it never stopped the evil words that seemed to be intended to rip me apart, make me feel small, and to “put me in my place.” There was evil behind those words, and I am learning to make sure that I recognize my enemy isn’t man, but Satan himself, who uses people that have opened the door to him. Forgiveness is a perpetual process and I am still healing.
I am healing, not healed, and maybe I won’t be fully healed until Christ comes again, but just as water closes around itself to self-heal, the Living Water heals hearts more rapidly than I would have ever imagined. In the past year, I have transformed so much that I truly DO feel like a completely different person. My heart was getting pretty hard and I had a lot of anger issues because of my toxic marriage. We each have our walk, though, and our own stories, and healing is not something we should rush through. Let Jesus heal you, and spend all the time with him that you can!
As you open your heart as a vessel for his love and anointing oil, your heart will also be softened and people will feel the love pouring out into them. People will be drawn to your light, and Holy Spirit will change the atmosphere around you everywhere you walk as you carry Christ within you.
I am no longer like a turtle who takes shelter when spears fly, silenced, scared, and waiting for the air to clear. I am a bold warrior who walks head-on into the storm with the full armor of God, and beneath my battle armor is a heart that loves like Jesus does, heals quickly, and flows with unlimited love for people because it is being fed by a stream of Living Water.